Here's Why I Never Showed My Boyfriend Until Now

Tuesday, June 20, 2017


Since day 1 on YouTube I've been asked constantly "Are you dating anyone?" or "Do you have a boyfriend?" In college I "talked to" boys for about a month then quickly things would fizzle out because he "wasn't looking for anything" or my favorite was when he found someone else that caught his eye. I was dating boys... Well, not even dating because I think I went on a total of 3 dates before my senior year of college. My friends all told me the same old excuse that it wasn't me, it was the guys I was choosing but I obviously never listened to them. I waited for the day that I finally had a boyfriend so I could post all the cute couple pictures and finally film a video with said boyfriend. I was desperate. I wanted to feel what love was but had 0 clues as to where to find it.




I started dating my first official boyfriend in May 2015 and we had a long distance relationship from Kentucky to Los Angeles. People always commented on my videos asking me to show him in a video or even film a video with him and he was all for it. I knew I never wanted to put a guy on my channel until I knew for certain that this man will be in my life for a very long time. I'll be honest, I had a gut feeling in my first relationship that something was off, that I didn't want to share him on my channel because I wasn't ready for that commitment. I wasn't ready for the fallout that would happen if we broke up after I shared him in a video. So I told him I wasn't ready for it. He took that as an insult, he took it as me doubting the relationship. I didn't want to feel pressured. This was one of the moments in my life when I was so proud of my intuition because about a month later I was cheated on... this obviously solidified my decision to not share him on my channel in a video. We ended up breaking up because things just never got back to the way things were, we weren't happy. I sincerely thought I was happy when in reality, I was just afraid of being lonely, being in Los Angeles without anyone visiting me, caring about my daily routine. I clung to this idea that we would work things out and that things would go back to the happiness we had the first few months of our relationship. 

Then in August 2016 after another breakup I had my "I'm just gonna enjoy this single life" phase. I thought I was a bad bitch, I exuded that confidence, that post-fuckboy glow. I swore up and down that I wanted to be single until I moved to Nashville. I wanted to enjoy my time without any boy drama because I felt like the last year of my life was drama filled. Naturally, that meant I spilled all the drama to you all in YouTube videos, telling you all about my nasty breakups and how I bounced back. Then on an October night out when I was back home in Cincinnati, I met a guy named Cody. He knew me through mutual friends so when I was at the bar with my friend Megan, he greeted me. I looked up and was instantly smitten. So there with my drunk Tequila-induced confidence, I walked up to Cody and tried the best pickup line I could think of on my feet... which happened to be "You have really pretty eyelashes." REALLY SARAH?! That's the best you can do?! As the night went on, we didn't exchange many words (gee, wonder why... I'd say probably cause I complimented his eyelashes of all things) and by some stroke of luck he ended up going to my friend's bonfire the next night. I tried all my "tricks" and he just kept shooting down anytime I tried to flirt with him. So close to the end of the night, about 6 Mich Ultras deep, I decided to FB message him while sitting right next to him. From then on, we never have gone a day without talking to each other. That's it. That's the cute love story of how we met... Now back to why I waited till now to show him in a vlog (and hopefully a video someday!)

Cody rocks. I can say with 100% confidence that Cody is my best friend, I am so proud to be his girlfriend. I want to show him off, I want to show off our not-so-exciting lives with you all and someday have something to go back on and watch for a good laugh or walk down memory lane. Wow this is getting sappy but anyway, it all makes sense to me now why nothing else worked out before and why I never wanted to share anyone with you all until him. It's been a long 7 years for some of you waiting for the day I finally shared this part of my life with you and it's finally here. While he's only in snippets, it's obviously a gradual thing. I hope you guys are excited for the future because I know I am! 


7 comments:

  1. Yay! You are filled with so much joy! Love it :)

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  2. Aww that was sweet! Good reminder that love really is real

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  3. This is so sweet!! So happy for you and thanks for sharing <3

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  4. this made me really emotional???? like im tearing up because i want to feel what you're feeling right now???? i love hearing that you're really really happy and filled with so much love! wish the best for you two in the coming years xo

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  5. I've been watching your videos for years now, so I was so happy to read this post! You deserve all of this happiness! So excited for you!

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  6. You look so happy! So happy for you :)

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